River Brown

Writing really wants us to tell the truth.  So, on the surface I don’t have anything to write about.  But after the words started coming and the blah blah blah of recent details were out, I hit the nerve.

And now I think that my Monday weariness makes more sense.  There’s another procedure, a caudal injection, for my mom’s excruciating hip pain scheduled for Wednesday.  So she has one more full day to cope.

I find it so wearing.  Not her, but hearing her breathing and gasps under her breath and watching everything be so laborious for her.  So, I’m not just tired from gardening on Sunday after being sick, and having a very full Monday, I’m just worn out in my nerves.  I cannot find a way to tune out what is happening.  And I can’t believe how many months we’ve been going through this.

So, I hope that something —- helps mom.  I really, really hope so. I know how it might sound.  You?  You’re tired of the pain?  What about her?  She’s the one who’s experiencing it.

I know that.  And I’m really weary of watching her suffer.