River Brown

Is it just me or do jeans get a little too snug in the summer?  I attempted to put on a pair of my jeans and I could not get them on! But I had worn them all throughout the previous months – what happened?  In order to make myself feel better, I compiled 10 reasons to convince myself of why the jeans no longer fit…

10. The dryer shrunk them

9. I was bloated that day, getting close to mother nature’s visit, you know?

8. The lotion I had slathered on my legs to prevent dry summer skin, created a barrier that prevented the jeans from easily sliding over my thighs

7. The recent heat wave that sent temperatures over 100º shrunk my jeans as they lay folded up in the closet

6. My boyfriend most likely washed them in warm water and now they have gotten smaller by an entire size!

5. I made fun of one of my friend’s workout routines and she snuck into my closet for revenge, switched my jeans for a size too small and is now laughing wildly while reading my post

4. Those were not my jeans actually.  They probably got left behind from when the girl scouts hosted a camp retreat in my backyard

3. If you don’t stick to the recommended daily dose on the label of the fiber gummies, they really do cause you to bloat up

2.  The dryer shrunk them dammit!!

1. As a mature woman I can accept the fact that I don’t have a problem, the jeans have a problem!! They probably got worn out so much, that the fabric just got super tight and I can untighten them by tying one leg to the back of my car and the other to an elephant so we can tug of war it until they stretch back to their original size!

There! I feel better now.  And I will keep in mind that in the future, should any clothes suddenly not fit as before, it is their fault, not mine!!