River Brown

 I waited all month for my first meeting with

Going?   YES  MAYBE  NO

On Wednesday morning I got a text from Lorena.  We are new to the group although we shared a summer institute with the writers.  We had invited ourselves by text one afternoon last month while planning a pd.

“Oh no!” I wrote back when she said the organizer, Susan, was going to work with Chrissy at the university on their seminar.  The thought of no writing group, of my first one failing, felt terrible.

The photo from my little lime journal is a goal I wrote — the first note I made — in Anne Lamott’s writing seminar last spring.  Dear Anne, so funny but also absolutely truthful about the complications of drawing the Artist’s card, told us that day every thing she knows about writing.

And the first thing she said has hung out in my notebook for months undone.

Lorena, who was texting me on the day of the group meeting, offered to get together at Crema and write and talk.  I was at school multitasking but jumped at the chance, thinking she meant Wednesday.  That one tiny word, tomorrow, slipped past my notice.

I was so grateful she would meet that I began not to mind that the rest of the group cancelled.  After school I drove over to the coffee shop, enjoying the late afternoon sun.  I got an orange Italian soda, began reading a new book that arrived, and eventually noticed, no Lorena.

I was so convinced we were meeting Wednesday I didn’t look at our string of texts.  Instead I sent her the photo and asked if she was okay.  Ah hah, now I know why my first writing group meeting was only me.

It does say something.  It’s up to me to write.  And yes, I need the feedback.  I need someone, some trusted readers who will explain to me how my words affect them.