River Brown

Really.  The calendar rolled forward, but what changed?  I have been on vacation and am well-rested.  That’s different than the ordinaire.  However, really, what’s new?

I started meditating and doing introductory Pilates in my new room.  Okay, so that’s an innovation.  But it is the same smog and the same routine around the neighborhood as last year.  The kids that play stick ball in the street are taller, but definitely the same kids.

We all wished each other a happy one, and all the best and health, prosperity, etc. but I checked my bank account today and it’s still the same.  And, while I’m doing better with my inhaler from Kaiser, I’d say my health is still average.  Not taller, not blond.

But there’s still the lure of the fantasy that I can somehow be better, be a newer version of my self…that new adventures or new relationships will come my way.  Sure.  Rowing in a canoe across the asphalt of the playground on my east side San Jose school.  No, ripping through the eHarmony email, pleading with me to come be my love, forsaking the monotony of job.

Really, it is another Roman calendar rollover.  And the promise that, while there’s more winter to come, and hopefully some rain out in our neck of the woods, the daylight is returning and the winter blues will boogie themselves out of my brain.

Now the Soltice.  That’s something to celebrate.